What’s the best donut you’ve ever eaten?

Easily the #1 question people ask when they find out I’m the guy behind DonutsUnplugged.com. After all, shouldn’t a true donut connoisseur – one who’s been to hundreds of donut shops across the country and consumed countless donuts (all in the name of research, of course) – be able to tell you the best donut of all time?

Nope. Honestly, I’m completely lost on how to answer this question.

While It may be an easy one for many of you, the question “What’s the best donut you’ve ever eaten?” is much too general and, to be frank, just not fair. It’s no different than asking “What’s the best mattress?” or “Which of your children do you love the most?”. Ok, maybe that second one I could answer.

For me, the answer to “What’s the best donut you’ve ever eaten?” is nothing short of impossible as subjectivity, weather, current mood, marketing, time of day, hours of sleep last night, and a litany of other variables all play a part.

The #2 most asked question to the creator of DonutsUnplugged.com? “What makes for a good donut?” Please see the aforementioned cocktail of variables for the answer. You love cereal toppings? Great! You hate cereal toppings? Great! Prefer Bavarian cream or custard filling? Thick or thin icing? Yeast-raised or cake donuts? Fruit or no fruit? Missionary or…. you get the idea.

A defensible workaround when asked “What makes for a good donut?” is usually “Any donut that’s fresh and warm”. 

How about “What makes a bad donut?” Now we’re getting somewhere.

While still a somewhat subjective answer, its slightly more fair and narrows the possibilities a bit. Obvious answers may be: any donut that’s old or stale, a fritter that fried too long, any donut with that fry-oil-hasn’t-been-changed-in-a-year taste, or how about any mass-produced donut from <insert national donut chain name here>?

Admittedly, there’s guaranteed to be a tribe of folks out there who love stale donuts, ultra-crunchy fritters, the taste of nasty fry oil, and mass-produced donut-like substances. Super. We’re so happy for you. Safe to say that you don’t represent a majority of the donut-loving population.

May I suggest the next time someone asks you the impossible-to-answer “What’s the best donut you’ve ever eaten”, simply restate the question in a more specific way and answer that. For example, the best…

Cream cheese frosted peach fritter? Voodoo
Glazed blueberry cake donut? That’d be a tossup between M&M Donuts and Mr. T’s Delicate Donuts Maple bar (aka maple long john)? The Original House of Donuts
Cereal topped donuts? The Donut Parlor
Blueberry Streusel? Hurts Donut Co
Size of your head fritters? Bob’s Donuts
The best s’mores donut? Jaram’s Donuts
Krispy Kreme donut? Donut even…